We Are All Warriors

We are all warriors in so many ways. Life today (and always, I suppose though those lovely 50s housewives made it look like they had everything knocked) demands that of us.

We fight for our kids. We fight to make our way in the world. We fight for what we believe in. We fight a million battles that no one ever sees.

Is it ALWAYS wrong to wear your bedspread over you head to work? Asking for a friend.

This means everyone you meet has scars from battles you know nothing about. Even if you think you know someone and their story, trust me, there are things they will never tell you, or that you will never be able to understand. You know this. You feel this about yourself. I do, as well.

It isn't always this obvious when a person is under water.

Today I am on the battlefield with a couple of long time foes: Depression and Migraine.
But I am up and dressed and going about my day. I doubt if you met me today that you'd know much of anything except that I was being more quiet than usual.'

I might explain that away by telling you about the migraine but I won't tell you about the other. Maybe it's because 'the other' has been lying to  me and telling me: "It's not me, it's you. If you're depressed, it's to be expected, look at what a mess you are!"
Or maybe I don't say anything about my struggle because I'm afraid your opinion of me will change and when that happens it can't be 'unchanged'. I'll always be the kind of fragile soul that people don't just ask 'are you doing okay?' but also add, 'no, really, are you okay? You know you can tell me if you're not okay, okay?'

It's good to have someone to talk to, but even then, it's hard to tell them everything without feeling like you need to tone it down a little.

Or maybe 'the other' has brought along a nasty little friend, Anxiety and I just can't... I just... can't.

I want to. I just can't.

I'm not ashamed of depression or any of my issues. But I am scarred by them and often I am at war with them. I know you have your battles too and it doesn't change what I think of you, but it does change how I think of you - it reminds me you are a warrior, too, and even if we don't agree on much of anything, I respect that.