Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Missed Manners



Have you noticed that people don't seem to have time for either - manners or cocktails - anymore? It's sad, really, because manners are important and I love cocktails. Whiskey Sour. Margarita. Long Island Ice Tea, please and thank you.




I miss manners. Not the Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette, how you should address your neighbor's maid and which side you serve the pickled beets from kind of thing. The Romper Room,  Do be a Do-Be. Don't be a Don't-Be kind. (yes, I'm old, I actually had this book as a child and scribbled all over it because even back then I didn't take to being told what to do!) 




But manners, much like the right way to mix and serve a good drink, seem to be a thing of the past and I'm not sure why. 

I've heard a lot of theories, stress, a lack of time, and always being online have made it so much easier to accept selfishness and taking the path of least resistance (margaritas in a can? Are we animals?) as the norm.

If it isn't supposed to be about me all day every day, then why do they call it social MEdia?

It's gotten so bad I'm in favor of public places posting a set of rules titled "Things You should Have Learned in Kindergarten But Clearly Have Forgotten So Here We Are". They would include basic stuff:

Auntie Helen's attitude since even before Kindergarten and yet, she manages to mind her manners and get along with others (or get away from others, if that's what it takes).

For starters, if you wouldn't do it to or around someone you love, don't do it around or to ANYBODY. We all know that name calling, finger pointing, being disrespectful to people or property is wrong.
 If you didn't know it, you'd do it to everyone, everywhere. So stop giving yourself the excuse that it's okay because you disagree with someone or because it's just this one time, or it's their job to put up with whatever garbage I create, or they had it coming, or... No. Just no. You know better. And if you didn't, you do now.

Use your words wisely, If you don't have the words, or wisdom, or already know the words won't actually accomplish anything (save maybe hurting someone and/or making you feel like a big shot) then use your feet, (or your fingers if you're online). Remove yourself from a situation. Or don't go there to begin with. 

Just these two would go a long way toward making day to day exchanges between people so much more comfortable. It's just not that hard to NOT be a Jerk.
I am not generally the preaching sort.


Whenever I think I might run away to start a new life I realize I'm too old to take up stripping and too flawed to preach the Gospel! 
 I'm too big of a mess to try to tell anyone how to tidy up their own lives. I do know that kindness gets us all a lot further in life than ugliness.

Every single soul you meet today has had, is having, will have, struggles you cannot comprehend. If you look at them through that lens, maybe you will see the whole world as a place that needs and deserves a gentler heart, a softer tone, and a stiffer drink.








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