What the World Needs Now...

For the umpteenth time I am giving up writing. Not all writing. There will still be grocery lists, and goofy notes to my kids, social media posts and hopefully blog entries. But books?
I'm done.

Once, upon finding out I had so many books published (42? 43? 46? - not sure), a young woman said to me (dreamily) I've never met anyone who actually had their dream come true! It is pretty amazing, isn't it? (Dreams coming true, not meeting me - though that can be a trip too)
I've worked hard at sustaining that dream for the last couple of decades but I do not discount  the roll dumb luck and never giving up because I was too dumb to know how impossible it was played in it all.
Maybe my luck and dumbness has run out. Well, luck at least.
I suspect I have plenty of dumb stockpiled and if I don't I know a lot of people working hard on developing new streams of it every day. Either way, I'm leaving the literary life. Again. This time, though, I think it will stick.
Here's why -
Walked into Barnes and Noble the other day and got that old shiver of delight and expectation at being among so many ideas, insights. Wow. So much creativity and effort. SO much!

Every shelf, every bin, every display was crowded with books (well, those not crammed with toys, games, collectibles, etc), each with an author whose hopes for readers, recognition, and perhaps riches equaled my own, I'm sure.

The idea of trying to make my 'voice' heard above it all is just overwhelming. Not that I haven't tried, and had success with both traditional and independent publishing. But, in all honesty, I've begun to wonder what's the point? There are so many stories out there now, so many characters, so many pages filled with print or screens filled with text. I asked myself if the world really needed more from me.
Except this one, of course. The world needs this one more book!

But if it doesn't (need more books) then... what was the purpose of me? My kids are grown. My husband is relatively self sufficient. My dogs sleep all day. My part time job is lovely but expendable. What do I do with my time that actually matters?

Well, I'm funny. And frank. Sometimes I try to make people think, or feel better about themselves and others (or to not let 'others' make them feel bad about themselves). I make friends. Most of those I will never meet in person but they are friends just the same. And I hope I make people's day brighter. Now THAT's a dream I wouldn't mind making come true for a long time to come. That's what the world needs more of... at least from me.


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